You hate to see your friends suffer, so I am feeling bad this week for Cute Barritt, whose young, tender heart has been broken by the Tour de France doping scandal.
Dad wouldn't let me read the Jan Ullrich blog that you posted, Barritt, because he was concerned it would teach me bad English such as this headline: "Quit being harshing the Jan's buzz." But it does appear that Ullrich and bunch of others are big fat cheaters. Well, big skinny cheaters. But that's all I know about that.
I just want to suggest, Barritt, that you consider sticking with soccer. I don't think anyone takes illegal performance-enhancing drugs in soccer. Consider: Ronaldo is in terrible shape, so he needs to get his money back if he's taking something. Zinedine Zidane? A Frenchman's idea of performance enhancement is switching to Gauloises Lights. Beckham has already achieved the pinnacle of human existence by marrying a Spice Girl, so what does he have to gain? The U.S. team can't be doping, or else they wouldn't be so bad. And everyone seems to get so tired in overtime that they can't score any goals. Heck, the Swiss were so tired they couldn't even convert a single penalty kick. (Sorry, Miriam!)
--Maddie
p.s. You could also watch Wimbledon, where no one is doping because they couldn't hope to beat Roger Federer on grass anway.
Friday, June 30, 2006
Monday, June 26, 2006
A visit and a new discovery
Well, Aunt Kristen has been here this weekend, all the way from Connetti-- um, I can't spell that state yet, but it's one of the many where Dad used to live. Anyway, she's awfully nice. She lets me yell at her all I want and never gets impatient. And she seems to be a source of fun toys.
As you can see, I was wearing my tennis whites today in celebration of the beginning of Wimbledon.
Also, this just in: I have discovered that I have feet, although I am not sure what to do with them yet...
...based on my expression in this photo, the likely answer seems to be: Something nefarious.
--Maddie
As you can see, I was wearing my tennis whites today in celebration of the beginning of Wimbledon.
Also, this just in: I have discovered that I have feet, although I am not sure what to do with them yet...
...based on my expression in this photo, the likely answer seems to be: Something nefarious.--Maddie
Sunday, June 18, 2006
The debut of Madelinho
Since I've been watching a lot of the World Cup, I have decided that my youthful fascination with pop culture has been a bit misguided, and that I will instead dedicate myself to becoming the next great futbol player (you may know the sport as "soccer").
I figured the first thing I need to do is come up with a good one-word name to go by, since that's what all the great players do. So, in honor of Ronaldinho and Robinho, I have dubbed myself Madelinho.
I'm already quite good...
--Maddie
I figured the first thing I need to do is come up with a good one-word name to go by, since that's what all the great players do. So, in honor of Ronaldinho and Robinho, I have dubbed myself Madelinho.
I'm already quite good...
--Maddie
Sunday, June 11, 2006
Gearing up
If you're a new parent, or about to be a one, you know how much stuff is absolutely essential for raising a child today. If you were a new parent a while ago, you might be surprised at how much there is. Today I thought would discuss two of the new products without which a baby's life would be merely a constant sorrow.
1. Behold The Randomizer:
The microwave infuses formula with millions of little air bubbles that make baby's tummy blow up like the Hindenberg. So once upon a time, parents had to painstakingly warm bottles of formula in pots on the stove. That would just take a few minutes, you say? You are obviously a bad person who would not give baby what baby wants with proper immediacy. Thus, enter The Randomizer.
The Randomizer is a wonder of modern engineering. With a heating element in its little hole, it steams small amounts of water to heat the bottle. How small? Ah, there's the rub. If you put an 6 ml of water into The Randomizer, you get cold formula; but if you put in 6.5 ml, you get boiled formula. Or maybe not. It all depends on the composition and initial temperature of the formula, the room temperature, the barometric pressure, etc. Or maybe it is merely the mood of The Randomizer on that particular night. As you can see from the photo, my parents have tried to propitiate the Randomizer by sprinking offerings of Mylanta at its feet. But its thoughts are not their thoughts, nor are its ways their ways.
In any case, usually The Randomizer makes the formula so hot that it has to be placed in an ice bath to cool the formula in order not to scald baby's tender mouth. My parents keep a Big Gulp cup on hand at all times for just this purpose.
Sometimes if they get distracted, the ice bath cools the formula to refrigerator temperature again and the process begins anew! How did former generations survive without such conveniences?!
2. The Sling:
Rustic, don't you think? We have a Baby Bjorn, but really -- it's overkill. We're not going for any backpacking trips just yet.
Also, Mom has never quite gotten over missing Woodstock, so this is her attempt at looking like a granola-eater. No, I take that back -- she's not posing. Do you know what a recycling Nazi she is?
Anyway, all it really is is an adjustable sash. I sit in the pocket formed by its sag at mom's hip. I'm an outdoorsy kind of girl, so this enables mom to haul me around the neighborhood without her arms falling off.
I think mom chose this hippie pattern because it was on sale. Fabulous it's not. I'm trying to convince her at least to stitch "Miss Georgia Girl" on it. I'll be eligible in 21 months, and you can't start campaigning too soon.
--Maddie
1. Behold The Randomizer:
The microwave infuses formula with millions of little air bubbles that make baby's tummy blow up like the Hindenberg. So once upon a time, parents had to painstakingly warm bottles of formula in pots on the stove. That would just take a few minutes, you say? You are obviously a bad person who would not give baby what baby wants with proper immediacy. Thus, enter The Randomizer.The Randomizer is a wonder of modern engineering. With a heating element in its little hole, it steams small amounts of water to heat the bottle. How small? Ah, there's the rub. If you put an 6 ml of water into The Randomizer, you get cold formula; but if you put in 6.5 ml, you get boiled formula. Or maybe not. It all depends on the composition and initial temperature of the formula, the room temperature, the barometric pressure, etc. Or maybe it is merely the mood of The Randomizer on that particular night. As you can see from the photo, my parents have tried to propitiate the Randomizer by sprinking offerings of Mylanta at its feet. But its thoughts are not their thoughts, nor are its ways their ways.
In any case, usually The Randomizer makes the formula so hot that it has to be placed in an ice bath to cool the formula in order not to scald baby's tender mouth. My parents keep a Big Gulp cup on hand at all times for just this purpose.
Sometimes if they get distracted, the ice bath cools the formula to refrigerator temperature again and the process begins anew! How did former generations survive without such conveniences?!
2. The Sling:
Rustic, don't you think? We have a Baby Bjorn, but really -- it's overkill. We're not going for any backpacking trips just yet.
Also, Mom has never quite gotten over missing Woodstock, so this is her attempt at looking like a granola-eater. No, I take that back -- she's not posing. Do you know what a recycling Nazi she is?
Anyway, all it really is is an adjustable sash. I sit in the pocket formed by its sag at mom's hip. I'm an outdoorsy kind of girl, so this enables mom to haul me around the neighborhood without her arms falling off.
I think mom chose this hippie pattern because it was on sale. Fabulous it's not. I'm trying to convince her at least to stitch "Miss Georgia Girl" on it. I'll be eligible in 21 months, and you can't start campaigning too soon.
--Maddie
Tuesday, June 06, 2006
Good news / bad news
The good news is, at least one author is already sensing the potential greatness of my life:
... I am already a bit nostalgic for my youth. How about you?
The bad news is, this is probably only the first of many times my name will be misspelled.
--Maddie
... I am already a bit nostalgic for my youth. How about you?
The bad news is, this is probably only the first of many times my name will be misspelled.
--Maddie
Thursday, June 01, 2006
So competitive!
When Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's baby heard about my blog, she promptly registered a whole bunch of her own domains.
Darling Shiloh, it's only charming if you make it look effortless and natural!
--Maddie
Darling Shiloh, it's only charming if you make it look effortless and natural!
--Maddie
Ursprache
I was pulling hard for my homegirl Finola Mei-Hwa Hackett last night in the Scripps Howard National Spelling Bee last night, but she hadn't studied her German as hard as her French, and "Weltschmerz" bit her.
After spelling "kundalini" (which sounds like something that would be nice with a marinara sauce), Katharine Close showed her how German is done with "Ursprache."
I'm practicing for my turn in about nine years:
"Can you please tell me the origin of that word?"
--Maddie
After spelling "kundalini" (which sounds like something that would be nice with a marinara sauce), Katharine Close showed her how German is done with "Ursprache."
I'm practicing for my turn in about nine years:
--Maddie
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