Something's fishy

What a watery week... On Thursday, I had my first trip to the YMCA pool, but that was away from the prying eyes of the paparazzi. Encouraged by that, my parents installed an on-ground pool for me in the back yard. (Fabulous!) Nanny Emily played lifeguard


Mostly I like to kick and flail my arms. The more flailing, the more fun.

Then on Saturday we went to the GA Aquarium, which is the largest aquarium in the world, or at least the largest aquarium Home Depot could afford. The mascot is named Deepo, which is not only rather crass advertising for Home Depot, but also a blatant infringement of the Finding Nemo franchise.

But enough of that. The aquarium itself is really nice, or at least I can vouch for the parts I was awake for. I learned a lot ... like that when you are four months old and have an endearing toothless grin, you can grab people's hair in a crowd, and they will actually turn around and smile at you.


One of the hazards of having a Fabulous Life is that one becomes the show even when one is only trying to attend the show. Or maybe this fish just wanted my bottle:


As if all this wasn't enough for one weekend, I discovered that I have more great-grandparents! Nana and Papa were here to make funny faces at me!


Okay, my brain hurts from all this thought-transmission, so I'll call it quits for now. Peace out!

--Maddie

All the baby news that's fit to print

There's been a lot of baby news in the media recently. I don't mean the telepathic messages that we babies are always sending each other, I mean the same media that you all probably, um, enjoy.

First, of all, a Yale professor named Charles Yang wrote a book called The Infinite Gift: How Children Learn and Unlearn the Languages of the World. In it, he says that babies learn our native languages in part by unlearning the grammars of all the rest. Well, it's about time someone figured that out -- it's been killing me! Why, last week I forgot Russian and Swahili, and just this morning I was trying to think of that Italian word for when painters use light and dark, and I couldn't -- so that'll probably be gone in a matter of days, too. It's all very distressing, and no one understands, just because I can't talk.

The other news is that some people are all worked up because a baby magazine put part of a breast on their cover. You know, I was just blogging about boobs last week, and I just want to say to anyone who was offended: I'm very sorry ... wacko.

--Maddie

Looking ahead, looking back

I have a confession to make: I'm not a very patient little person. I sometimes cry between spoonfuls of rice cereal because it's not coming fast enough. Mom says she has no idea -- NO IDEA AT ALL -- where I got this trait; and then she looks at Dad. I haven't figured out all the office politics around 1162 Russell yet, but that's what happens.

Anyway, I'm waiting -- impatiently -- for Baby Boy Robertson to arrive. We had our first play date this week, and I have to tell you -- it would have gone much better if he had already been born. I was sending him encoded baby signals to hurry it up, but he seemed pretty comfortable. Maybe Scalini's eggplant parmigiana will do the trick.


Also, those of you are major baby blog geeks may remember when Cute Barritt wrote about the Half-Gallon-of-Mint-Chip-That-Had-Mint-But-No-Chips. Well, behold my own recent discovery: the Seeded-Hamburger-Bun-That-Is-Only-Half-Seeded:

Unlike Barritt's dad, we are not going to ask for a refund.

That's all the news from 1162 Russell. Peace out.

--Maddie

The Word from Maddie-world

What's up, my peeps?! It's been too long since I gave a real update! I am four and a half months old.

The family spent the past ten days in Durham, and Mom took me to the mall to set me up with some fabulous accesories...

...but aren't these for girls who don't have any hair?

Of course, I got to see Gram and Gandalf and the Fascinating Backyard Fountain again. The surprise was a visit from my aunties, Ali and Charlotte! OK, someone is telling me they're actually cousins once removed or something. But I know an aunt when I see one.


This was also the week we started solid food! Solid food is amazing! I blew right past the rice cereal and have already tried sweet potato, squash, banana and string beans. So far I like everything.


I like everything so much that sometimes I just want to take charge...


Things did not go so well when it was time to take the spoon out, though...

Oh by the way, I also am beginning to crawl, sort of. Between the crawling and my spirited rolling maneuvers, they can't even keep me on my play mat anymore. Look out, Paloma, here I come!

--Maddie

There's a sucker born every minute

If you are a baby with a mother, you probably know that when you suck on her boob, milk comes out. But I ask you: have you tried sucking on other parts of her to see what comes out?

I, Madeleine Mei Hays, am conducting a series of experiments to answer that mystery. In the photo above, you can see one of my neck-sucking trials. In the interest of advancing science cooperatively, I must report (with some disappointment) that I have been unsuccessful in sucking anything from the neck, cheek, chin, upper arm, forearm, stomach or hands. Nor does it appear that the growling sounds mommy taught me to make while doing this have had any effect yet.

However, please note that this leaves a large number of body parts yet to test. I am confident that I will yet discover a source of pureed carrots or grape Kool-Aid somewhere on mom's body! (Dad is kind of hairy, so I am considering discontinuing my research on him.)

--Maddie

Dear Mr. Bush...

... how will you handle the country if you can't handle a screaming baby?


Pollsters are already saying that this photo could cost the Republicans the crucial screaming-baby demographic. Only 18 years until our mighty voices are heard!

No justice, no peace, Mr. Bush.

--Maddie

As long as we're talking about fitness...

... There is no need to put weights in baby's toys. In fact, that's kind of mean. Who are you calling chubby?

I'm already on a fitness regimen in preparation for a life of fabulosity anyway. Here I am stretching before a workout:

I owe my sculpted physique to my personal trainer, Keroppi.

--Maddie