A $4,000 home movie?

Sure, I suppose you could pay $4,000 to have someone record and edit your childhood. But I find it much more cost-effective to be so fabulous that I have to beat off the paparazzi with a Zweibach biscuit.

--Maddie

Prelude to Turkey Day

Dear Reader,

It's been one of those periods where there's too much going on in my Fabulous Life (TM) for me to even try to cover. Some say a picture is worth a thousand words, so let's give that theory a shot:

The Chiu grandparents came and rolled around on the floor with me:

Don't tell Dad this, but I think Papa Chiu may be cooler than he is. Ever since I broke his cell phone and his car alarm remote by sucking on them, Dad has been really stingy about sharing his electronic toys with me. And I love shiny things with coloful screens...

Also this week I had my first trip to Gymboree! We did all kinds of interesting things, and everything is padded! Mom says that means I can bounce off the walls in greater safety.



All in all, I had fun, although it was hard for me to participate since I'm so painfully shy...


...how was that? Was the delivery deadpan enough? Did you believe it for a second?

--Maddie

Free Maddie! ! !

Dear readers,

I am sorry to report that I am the latest casualty of overshare in the blogosphere. I only wanted to be in a car, and now I am in-car, all right -- in-car-cer-a-ted (I learned that word from my Baby Einstein Baby Prison DVD):


It all began with my fake ID. Cute Barritt and I rented a car and drove downtown, and we had just gotten past the velvet rope at Eleven50. Everything was going fabulously, and I was about to order a Reflux Russian (a White Russian made with Enfamil AR) when suddenly a bouncer came out of nowhere and snagged us!

So, which one of you turned me in? I hope I don't sound paranoid, but really, what else could have given away the fact that we are under 21?

At least I'm not the first person to get dinged for TMI.

"Daddy, will you play me 'Folsom Prison Blues' ?"

I hear that train a-comin', it's rollin' 'round the bend
And I ain't seen the sunshine since I don't know when
I'm stuck in Russell prison and time keeps draggin' on
But that train keeps a-rollin' on down to San Antone

When I was just a baby, my papa told me lots
--like not to make fake documents by using Photoshop--
But I snuck into a dance club, and I told a lie
When I hear that whistle blowin', I hang my head and cry

I bet there's rich kids snackin' as that old steam engine huffs
They're probably drinking formula and eatin' Veggie Puffs
But I know I had it coming, I know I can't be free
But those babies keep a-movin' and that's what tortures me

--Maddie

"Because it was there"

I decided this week to skip past the whole "walking" phase and move straight to rock climbing:


Walking is just so 11 months, you know? It's like, do 17-year-olds actually read Seventeen magazine? Of course not! Thirteen-year-olds do. Do you see where I'm going with this?

I have to swear you to secrecy, dear reader, but... you've seen my Photoshop skills, right? Well, I'm working on a driver's license, for when I turn three.

Maddie

Farewell to the mullet

Some will say that my hair was charming, and that one should flaunt it if one has it, but I just got tired of looking like a redneck:


I'm not posting photos of the fabu new do just yet, but let's just say it's professional-looking. It's what I need for interview season.

Unlike Samson, I seem to have lost none of my mighty powers due to the shearing.

--Maddie

Reason #274 Why I Feel Sorry for You Grownups...

... I get to bathe in an inflatable duck, and you do not.


--Maddie

p.s. If you are a grownup who does bathe in an inflatable duck, send me pictures and I will post them here.

The belated Halloween update

Dear readers,

You may have noticed that certain other babies updated their blogs immediately after Halloween (or even before) with adorable pictures of themselves. I, however, am only now getting over my shock and dismay that the holiday came and went and I didn't get a single piece of candy.

So, anyway, here are the pix. In this first, you can tell that I'm getting a spooky vibe off the jack-o-lantern:


My parents thought it would be a good idea to dress me up as a dog and take me out for the neighborhood party. It was OK, except for having to share the spotlight, and the fact that the costume, which fit well a month earlier, had become like a chihuahua suit on a beagle:


Maddily yours,

Maddie