Dear ASPCA,Listen carefully, because I only have a few minutes to get this message off to you before my abusive owners catch me and take back the little monster's mind-reading hat.
Did I already mention that my owners are abusive? Well, I can't say it often enough. It's horrible. Let me give you some background. I have seven years of seniority in this household -- or 49, if you're counting in dog years. In all my 49 years I've hardly done anything wrong. (Oh -- like you couldn't spare those Old Navy flip-flops?!)
I've put up with California heat, New Jersey snow and Georgia humidity, guarding my owners on all their mysterious walking expeditions at all hours of the day. I've protected them from all sorts of nefarious threats, like squirrels, geese and maintenance workers. I eat what's put in front of me, and I don't make a lot of noise.
What is my thanks for my years of loyal service? To be unseated by this wailing little interloper. She gets to sleep in bed with them! She cries and they jump! Do you know that they actually warm her food for her? They don't think those Kibbles'n'Bits would go down a little smoother if they were warmed?
You know, she was born in the Chinese year of the dog, which makes her a puppy in my estimation. I feel like a Wall Street wife at 40 -- so sorry I'm not the latest model!!!!
On the other hand, I am grateful that I don't have to wear diapers. But please hear my cry for help!
--Paloma
2 comments:
I love the "view from the displaced" dog! Congratulations to you all! I am so thrilled for all of you. Knowing Paloma, he is the most faithful guard Maddie will ever have! You all are in our prayers a you embark on this amazing adventure of parenthood!
Love and Blessings!
Cindy Alloway
Woof! Woof!
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